Sunday, March 12, 2006

Caged with bears

We'd just worked our full day, run some errands, picked up the kids, and were working together to try to get dinner on the table. This is usually one of the most stressful segments of our day -- we we're hungry, our feet hurt, and we're trying to get through dinner so we can sit and relax for a few minutes before we start homework and baths. Then the twins pulled these charming, crafted bear puppets from their bags and wanted to give us a puppet show.

They couldn't just stand there and make them talk, they had to pull out chairs (right in our way) for a make-shift puppet theatre. It was one of those moments where you just wish they'd wait and be cute later. We were tempted to say, "That's nice sweetie, go in the other room and play while we fix dinner."

It was one of those moments where you have to make a pivotal decision. Do you choose your own comfort and sanity, or do you take the hard road? Do you have the strength to indulge them and make them feel loved and appreciated despite your own desperation for a moment's peace? As the picture clearly shows, we decided to actually parent.

For our Hurculean efforts we were treated to several minutes of ultimate-fighting style, paper-bag smack-down.

In the end, both bears survived, dinner was eaten, homework was finished, and our children had another positive childhood experience. They do add up, you know. Hopefully the positives outnumber the negatives when they look back on how we raised them.

Wednesday, March 08, 2006

Pajama day follows a night of horror

Today was pajama day at school, thus the children's sleepy poses. Paige needed the extra rest to heal. 'Why's that?' you ask? Continue reading beneath the following charming collage. . .

7:42 pm == The twins finish their homework, I send them to put it in their bags

7:49 pm == Brooke’s bag is neatly zipped and put back in it’s proper place. Paige’s bag is in the center of the floor, paper’s are evenly scattered to about a six foot radius.

7:52 pm == I tell Paige to hurry up and get her paper’s picked up – it’s almost bath time.

7:55 pm == Paper’s have been moved around, none have found their way to the backpack. "What are you doing, why aren’t these papers picked up?”

7:57 pm == No change. I’m starting to get frustrated. I speak to her like the adults on the Peanuts.

8:04 pm == No change. Voice rises.

8:06 pm == No change, but Paige starts to cry. I don’t care – I want the papers picked up.

8:06 pm == Crying turns to serious, terrified screams. “Uh-oh” I think, “Something is happening here. Something more that meets the eye.”

8:07 pm == I conduct a thorough investigation and determine the cause of her screams to be intense pain. (advisory: grandmother’s may want to stop reading at this point) She has found a thick sewing needle in the carpet and it is now stuck through the side of her foot, AND, out of the top. Yes folks, the needle has gone through-and-through the flesh on the side of her foot.

8:07 pm == I remove the needle.

8:08 pm == I administer first aid and TLC.

8:09 pm == Cindy puts her beer down and screams at us to “cut out all the racket!”

* upon further examination, needle appears to be same needle from the INFAMOUS corn-bag incident.

"my boy, was just like me..."

The Night the Martian’s landed
By Chantze Veen

One nice night somthing aprerd in front of my window. I opened my window. A little tiny UFO when it landed two little aliens came out of the UFO.
I asked them their names. Their names were Bob and Gergorgy. They ask me, my name is Herbert.
“What planet are we on?”
“You are on Earth. What planet are you from?”
“We’re from Pluto, it is cold there. We ran away from home because there is an evil king there that’s destroying our homes. We came for help. So what, we’ve been on Merkry and Mars and now here. You won’t pick on me will you?”
“Of course not, why did ask?”
“Because all of the aliens are bigger than us. So will you help us?”
“Yes, I will help you fight that evil king. So how big is that king of yours, ant size?”
“No, axally elephint size.”
“Did you say elephint? Wow.”
“Oh right, I forgot to say he has rocket lanchers, raffles and machine guns. He also has ninjas and sword men and asasin. Now let’s shrink you with my shrink gun, no that’s my shrink gun.”
“Whatever.” be contuid...

Sunday, March 05, 2006

Hunter - 7, Emily - 8

It was a total ‘Kid’s Birthday’ weekend.

You know how I dislike children, so, you can imagine my frustration. My niece, Emily, turned eight, and my nephew, Hunter, turned seven. Both had massive parties with kegs and screaming kids in togas (HA! Just kidding – you believed me though, didn’t you?) Seriously, though, LOTS of kids were at both parties.

Emily’s was a wild dance/game/piñata party, the kids were so much fun (except for those who loudly complained about being left out whenever the entire universe didn’t focus it’s attention on them – none of ours, mind you). In the top two pictures, you can see some of the relay game where two teams raced to don hats, sunglasses, necklaces and whatnot. The next two are ‘dance’ pictures; a good number of original moves created that evening, I can tell you. The absolute highlight of the evening was Emily herself. This chick can DANCE! The lower collage is her doing a PERFECT recreation of the dance Napolean Dynamite did in the movie – to the exact same song of course. I wish my camera had a better shutter speed cuz I missed the wildest best moves, but she thrilled the crap out of the whole room, much like Napolean did in the movie.

Hunter’s party was less structured, but somehow less wild, considering the volumes of children glutting the Pham’s huge farmhouse. It was also a nice time, and Wendy (Cindy’s twin) made a very creative cake, don’t you think? Hunter is an extremely bright kid, maybe a genius, but he is still a kid. I tried to mess with him a little by putting a big note on his present. It said something like: “Happy birthday Hunter, we know you’re getting older and more mature so we thought it would be nice to start getting you more grown-up presents. I hope you like books on economics and politics.”

It was actually a power-ranger that transforms into a dinosaur.

Happy birthday, Hunter and Emily – the Veenie Babies love you.